Some Things Just Can't Wait

Kiku

Ah death. Death, death, death. It is a part of life, but could it be that death is not always necessary? I say absolutely.
Yesterday night I buried two creatures who could have lived full lives if it were not for the apathy and/or objectivity of human nature.
Victim #1: a small white mouse as precious as the days are long whose purpose in life was to be a snake snack. Of course, this purpose was only imposed upon it by us humans. It was too young to be cold, the temperature dropped and it died alone in my room. I was over 100 miles away, but was there still something I could have done to save it? Probably, but what does it matter to me. Right?
Victim #2: a beautiful crimson beta named Hashi whom, at around 5 yesterday, looked perfectly healthy. My roomate and I came back into my room about 10:30 and found him motionless at the bottom of his bowl. My guess is the water had finally turned toxic. I hadn't cleaned it in a month. Could Hashi still be swimming round and round today? Probably, but I have better things to do. Right?
That mouse was going to die eventually. It's just a stupid fish, right?
There's nothing right about it. Death is a terribly lonely thing regardless of whether you are a person, a fish, a mouse, a bird or an ant. Etcetera. Why do you think we created religion? This desensitization that we have manifested in our little minds that enables us to ignore unecessary elimination of life, whether it be from starvation or plague or for oil, is a sickness far worse than any morning after we could ever experience. People are starving right now and there is food going bad in my refrigerator. Blood is being spilled for the fuel I put in my car so that I can drive to the theater and see a film about blood being spilled for profit or about spirits being crushed for sport. It's a sick thing, but I feel trapped inside of it.
If I have to bury another animal or thought due to the apathetic disease of others, I may become an alcoholic.
If I become any more apathetic about the drama of everyday life, I may become catatonic.
Then I may starve or die from a sickness that could be easily cured given the means.
But I guess thats life.
This is not an epiphany I just had, but something that swells inside of me and breeches the surface only on the occaision that I cannot harness it. Last night my desparation was spinning me faster and faster as I could not find my tap water conditioner, which I would use to save my other beta, Kiku. I litteraly tore apart my apartment, I could not sleep until I had done something to put off the inevitable. It would be against my basic principle to put my need for something as incidental as sleep ahead of the opportunity to stop some suffering. I may have seemed vain and I may have seemed crazy, but damn all the people who would say I could buy a new fish tomorrow. It's not about the fish at all. It's about appriceation of life, tainted with pity.