I wonder how cold it has to be for time to stop completely...

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It's hot.
It's hot.
It's hot.
So, it's so hot.
It's hot in this room. Keeps me awake.
Or maybe I just keep thinking the heat keeps me awake...maybe there's something more?
I need to unwind. Does it ever seem that more goes on when you're doing nothing than when you're on a roll? Perhaps I just have too much time to think these days.
You want to know what I'm thinking about right now?
I'm thinking about that last string of words, I guess.
Too much time, eh? Too much...yeah, but when is anything ever enough? It's always too much or too little. I think the concept of human satisfaction at times is tantamount to the concept of love itself. You never know...you never know if this it good enough, if this is really so bad...
Is this really so bad? Nah.
I guess what I'm trying to say is...well...is this:
Sometimes I feel more alone when I'm surrounded by those who truely care for me.
Sometimes a smile will puddle me up and leave me seeping through cracks in the floor.
Sometimes I just want to tear the world apart.
Break it down. Break it all to pieces, slip them in my pocket...put them together tomorrow on a picnic table in the park. Put them together, a mosaic that I can see clearly, that I can run my fingers across without getting a single sliver, measurable and melting at a pace I can understand.
Sometimes I can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all.

Beyond Good and Evil

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So, where am I? What could I possibly be doing? These are the questions of the times. If you know the answers, please be so kind as to share them.
I think the wierd thing about growing older is how warped time becomes. It seems, of course, as if time is slipping away at an unprecedented pace. It seems.
Reality, though, maintains that time is still passing as it has been since the beginning of everything. And the complexities are endless.
Life is complication. Life is work. Life is a journey and oh Lord does it ever go on and on.
Luckily for me my life is changing and twisting and turning in all sorts of bizarre directions. I'm leaving the only place I've ever really known very soon while getting my bad self into all sorts of complicated and completely novel situations, yet it's as if I'm not even trying.
I don't feel like I'm doing much differently. My perspective is changing almost everyday it seems while the routine stays the same. I couldn't tell you what kind of person I'll be in twenty-four hours from this very moment if my life depended on it. Its a meniacal life, but everything seems to add up at the end of the day, so I say business is good.
Accept the fact that you never know what to expect and, no matter how turbulent things get, tomorrow brings new routes to calmer seas if you can take the time to look. And not take anything without stride. This world's bigger you think it is.
Yeah, I like the sound of that. This will be where we part until whenever. At the moment I'm cleansing my playlists of the sediments of the past, an activity that really makes you wonder what the hell you were thinking. I am wondering myself to smithereens, and I'm only at F!
So anyways, thanks for stopping by and take care of yourself.